This girl I was dating said that she wanted a once in a lifetime experience, so I murdered her.
I rang up work this morning..
“My wife passed away in the early hours,” I told them. “I’m going to need some time off work.”
“Oh dear, sorry for your loss,” the receptionist said. “And of course we understand. Take as much time off as you need.”
“Thank you,” I replied. “It’ll be about eighteen years, providing I behave myself.”