What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest?
A rabbi cuts them off. A priest sucks them off.
What do priests and McDonald’s have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?
“The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our beliefs.” The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?” To which the rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.” The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, “Is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate? The priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.” The rabbi then asked him, “Have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?” The priest replied, “Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my faith and made love to a woman.” The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said, “Beats a fucking ham sandwich, doesn”t it?”
I can’t believe Scientology is trying to get away with calling itself a religion.
You’re not a real religion until you’re responsible for at least a million deaths.